Why Are Habits Hard to Break?
Many times, it takes a crisis to change our negative habits. We tend to reject the law that protects us. This is the law of sin and death. Our human flesh causes us to sin and not trust the God that wants to protect us from ourselves. The truth is, until the pain exceeds the fear there will no change. Our pain has to rise to a level that causes us to want to do something different and is not familiar.
In the Learning How to Trust book, we refer to these negative habits, addictions, and struggles as dragon fires. In the book, we talk about Amanda and the dragon she was fighting. The dragon was breathing fire and causing so much damage that her life was going to be threatened. She finally called a Care Taker (who represented God) to do something. But the Care Taker says to Amanda, “You need to take the hatchet and kill the dragon yourself.”
So, she needed to take responsibility for her wrongs.
What Happens After We Recognize Bad Habits?
It takes a process to get to the point of repentance.
In the movie, Catch Me If You Can, the main character pretends to be many different people but Frank, the detective, catches up to him and by this time the main character wants to be caught and stop running. Sometimes we need to love someone enough to go beyond their reactions and help them.
When we go through the pain there will be scars. These scars will help us realize what we have been through to get to the freedom we are looking for.
Pauly gives the illustration of a past roommate that said, “please take this bag of sweets away from me. Hide it so I don’t see it.” Pauly told her she would do that but that does not mean she has the control to not get another bag of sweets.
How to Avoid Temptations
The real issue is learning how to avoid the temptation not just take away the outward temptation.
I meet so many people that want to change but don’t take the time to think about what needs to be addressed for their lifestyle to really be transformed. It’s important to have a discipline of time. Try scheduling and having others there to support you as you try to change habits that have been around for years. You need to realize that this will be a process of many little steps, not one big experience. There is a need for consistency and giving no excuses when it is time to go after it.
Take some time and look at chapter 10 in the Learning How To Trust book. You will find much help and a great resource for change.